AAARRRRR you serious?

I used to like this whole pirate issue, I really did. While I never really giggled at how funny it was for it to be happening in modern times, it seemed to be important, interesting, all that stuff.

So you might think, with Piracy hitting the mainstream media like a cannonball with the attack and rescue of the Maersk Alabama, I would be happy about it. In fact there were some great articles explaining the whole situation on BBC (favorite part: "Reza, who described how he had wrestled one of the pirates to the ground then stabbed him with an ice pick.") and an even more visual re enactment here.

But while watching the Daily Show's antics and enjoying the story, I am very disappointed while reading these articles with subjects like "retaliation" and "escalation." These pirates are just criminals, put into a great place and finding some media attention. Our media expects too much, maybe we are all too terrorist crazy to not see a connection when in fact there isn't one. How would they escalate? They are using all the weapons and military prowess they posses already (it should be obvious that anyone who, Standing up, brandishes his piece to an American within range of an American battleship has little ability to do anything) and the prospects of newly-rich pirates re-investing in their company has to be slim.

The wussies who don't want to shoot these guys, but want to help economically develop their country should know that rich Africans rarely re-invest; they are much more likely to build a nice house, get satellite tv and never work another day in their life. I would say the problem is solved: get rich or die tryin'.

If you want a real calamity, check out freakin Nigeria. That place is about to be a terrible place to be, and it will be further exaserbated when huge MEGADROUGHTS hit all of West Africa. megadroughts, really? That is real bad, since we get 1/5 of our oil from there. Looking at those funny little pirates is distracting from Nigeria; in the business you call that the Kansas City Shuffle.

But, don't be discouraged; they got pirates too! Looks like e'erybody's gettin rich. Or they dien' tryin'