Thomas Crowne: Liberal Mush-Head

Thomas Crowne (and I do hope you have the good taste to at least be the Steve McQueen version and not that limey sissy from Remington Steele), I’m not going touch on this nonsense about “a woman's prerogative to change her mind.” Suffice to say: dude, I’ll bet you’re a dude.

Let’s see what other things you’re doing that I find bothersome. Well, there’s “However, I am not an idiot,”—let me assure you TC, that remains to be seen. Also, while quoting Scalia is not actually pulling something out of your ass, it is probably the next best thing. Scalia also said, “I even take the position that sexual orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged,” which I bet you and the rest of your free-love buddies are in to--- I know, I know: you’re just trying to ‘experience everything you can’ before getting that Master’s in Ceramics and settling down in upstate Vermont.

As for your quote from “The American President,” it’s curious that you choose a selection from Martin Sheen, and a crappy one at that. Sheen, who spends his free time getting arrested in Nevada with other ‘Peace Walkers’ (I swear that’s what they call themselves) must be a good friend of yours, eh TC? Well, while you find a way to get the patchouli stains out of your Grateful Dead poncho, the grownups are going to discuss policy.

On to the meat of your question: “Again, do you think it only right to bear arms when in a state militia?” No, but if you knew how to read anything other than Noam Chomsky books—don’t they just freak out the ‘squares’?—you’d know that the actual phrasing is “A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.” Now, since I’m sure you skipped most of 8th grade English to commune with the trees, let me explain that everything before the comma is dicta—it offers a bit of insight on what follows while keeping the second half controlling. Hence: “the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed” is the important part of the sentence. It could just as easily have been phrased, “Lilith Fair being a totally sweet place to meet earthy-crunchy girls, the right of the People…” Isn’t grammar fun?

In closing, (and I’m sure by now you’re putting on swim trunks to wade through Walden Pond—g*d you sicken me) you’ve said almost nothing and it’s taken me four paragraphs to determine that. This bodes poorly for my analytical abilities but --hey—at least I’m trying, and that's more than I can say for you.