North Korean Nukes

The problem that I see with how the U.S. is dealing with North Korea is that we are solely focused on the actual attainment of nuclear weapons by North Korea. However, whether North Korea has nuclear weapons or not isn't the point. The threat that North Korea might get (or have) nukes makes us negotiate with them. I certainly don't think that North Korea should have nuclear weapons (just as I don't think that anyone should have them), but the mere possibility that they might have them scares us enough to give in to their demands. Is it really likely that a sovereign nation-state would use a nuclear weapon against another? Kim Jong-Il might be a couple peas short of a pod, but I don't think he's that stupid. But as long as he continues to drag the rest of the world around by his nuclear leash, he'll get whatever he wants.